If you can't beat them, befuddle them!

My son returned from his studies in England this week.
Having to carry all his books and research papers back, his baggage was severely overweight. The limit from BA was 20 kg but his bag was at least 30. He was prepared to pay excess at Heathrow.

At the check-in at Terminal 5, the counter lady had such a strong British accent that he really had difficulty hearing what she was saying. He knew that she was saying the bags were overweight, just that her pronunciations were almost unintelligible.
So he decided to play along by speaking Chinese,

"excuse??" "wat??" "don understand" and even "li kong si mi?" were the only 'english' phrases he used.

And guess what, he didn't have to pay excess and got checked through to his Qantas A380 flight without a hitch!.

Well, at least I know his overseas education is starting to pay off.

London - Gullible's Travels (2)

Had just walked out onto the street in front of Russell Hotel in Bloomsbury where I was staying, when I was greeted by an elderly gentleman. Typically english, round and portly, looking a bit like Harry Secombe which was why I stopped.

He: "Hello, Jeepon? Connie Shewah."
Me: "Who?"
He: "Speak English? Yes?"
Me: "Yes, I speak English."
He: "Where you from? HongKong? Malaysia?"

He begins telling me how much he liked the Orient, been there many years ago, had lots of friends there, etc. Seemed friendly and even brought out from inside his coat an album. Showed me pictures of his 'friends' he made here in London. The pictures were mainly of japanese women and taken at tourist places like Buckingham Palace, Tower of London, Trafalgar Square, etc.

He: " You want to be my friend?"
Me: "Okay."
He: "Come, let me take your picture".
He takes out a small camera and made me pose in front of the hotel. Snapped 2 photos.

He: " OK, give me your name and address and I'll sent the pictures to you. Give me 5 Pounds and I post it to you tomorrow."
Wham! Then it hit me! Bloody idiot, you just got conned. 5 Pounds at that time was about $30.

Me: "What! I'm not going give you 5 pounds! You offered to take my picture. I didn't ask you to"
He: "F*ck off you bloody chink! bloody sod!"
Me: "You go f*ck yourself"

When in London, beware of nice old gentlemen offering to take your pictures.

A bloody chink at Tower Bridge, London.